Only one more step!

I realize this blog leaves much to be desired.  I promise, our days are filled with conversations about Max and about what he might like and the things we get to do once he arrives, but quite frankly, finding the time to sit down and tell you about it is, well, difficult.  I will also say that the process to getting these precious Chinese kids is taxing.  It doesn't get easier to wait, it doesn't make a difference that we have done it before, it's long, it's heart wrenching and I can't wait for it to be over.  I think the only difference is that this time I don't talk about it as much.  Maybe I'm tired of bringing all the feelings of "missing someone" to the surface, maybe it's a way for me to guard my heart.

This is our 3rd Christmas where we know that someone is missing from our family.  I know many people who hang a stocking for the child that they are waiting for, and buy lots of gifts for him or her, but for some reason I have never done that.  A few gifts were purchased for Max this Christmas, but from his adoring grandparents and aunties.  I can't explain it, but he'll have a stocking and presents under the tree next year...and he can open them!

All that to say we only have ONE STEP LEFT!!!  We're almost to the point where the stress and chaos of traveling with a family of 5 + a grandma to China for 2 weeks becomes a reality.  I'm not ready for that, but I am definitely ready to get on that plane to see what this amazing trip is going to do for our family.  Anytime in the next 4 weeks we could get a letter from China that says "COME ON!"  It is SO nice to finally be here!

I just keep thinking about the fact that we are bringing our ENTIRE family to China.  Something else that doesn't escape me is that this will be our 5 year old's 2nd trip...ha!  I don't think Xander really understands the significance, other than he knows that Lyla is very excited to return, so he feels like he should be too.  Lyla can hardly contain her excitement when she talks about it.  Living in China is so fresh, she'll only have been with us for 2 years when we travel, I know the emotions will be high for our sweet, spunky, life-filled girl.  I really feel like this whole experience has been great for her, to see what adoption is like from this side, the anticipation, the joy the family feels and I think she is even ready for the sadness and confusion that Max will probably experience.  I know she will be a big help!  I can hardly wait to see what Xander feels like when he has a brother, the one he has been praying for for years...literally.

The next time you hear from me I'll be giving you our travel dates, and we'll finally know the day that our arms will hold Max for the first time!

Merry Christmas!!

Care package!

I mentioned a care package in my last post.  We used a lady in China who will contact the orphanage for you, get some basic info and hopefully photos, and then deliver (ship) a care package to your waiting child.  We used her years ago to send Xander a package, she seems to have a great reputation with the orphanages.

Here is what we sent:

The idea is that hopefully he will receive this package (the candies are for the nannies), and they will read him the letter I wrote that tells him we are coming to meet him and make him part of our family.  We hope that they will also show him the photo album and let him see us before we get there.  WE know Xander and Lyla both received the packages we sent to them, and both of them were shown the pictures of us before we got there, so we counting on the same.

Lyla, being older, was able to tell us that she doesn't really remember a letter being read, but she did se the photo album, although maybe just once.  We also sent Lyla a stuffed animal that she brought with her to meet us, but it was very clean, and she clearly had no attachment to it. :)

I love this care package to Max for so many reasons, but mostly for the similarity to Xander's.  Xander got that same bear with a blue shirt (whom we still have and it is now named BamBam), the photo album is the same kind and the silks are the same just a different color.  Xander's photo album came with him and it was filthy, we have no idea who "used" it, which actually makes me sad to think that some of the other kids looked at us, and then we didn't bring them home... :(  Xander's silks were red, and they definitely don't fit him anymore, but it is cool that they are the same.  Now, we have no idea if we will receive any of these items when we get Max, it's the risk you take.

In paperwork news...

On Nov 27 we got our NVC cable.  Um, still, do not really know what exactly this is, just another box to check off.  PEOPLE!  We only have 3 more boxes to check!!!  Our Art 5 (another unknown Hague Convention thing) will be dropped off next Tuesday, Dec 10 and picked up Dec 24.  On Christmas Eve (is it ok to be relieved that China does have a Christmas holiday??) we will officially be waiting for our Travel Approval!!  

So, blah, blah, blah... There is still a SMALL chance that we could travel in January, but if we don't make it before the CNY holiday it will be the 1st week of February.  in about 6-8 weeks we WILL be in China!!!! WAHOOOO!!

It's a great Monday!

Well, this is certainly a great way to start out a week, with some new pictures (VERY CURRENT) of Max!  We sent a care package, via a lady in China, and this is what we got in return.  So many emotions!

Does this picture make anyone else believe I should be a little nervous?  

I see something mischievous in his eyes... 

This one helps me to picture this very scene in our home.  

He just looks like he is in full belly laugh!  I hope we get to hear that soon.

Um, can we say feast?  

I have a feeling this was a special occasion, but wow, that is quite a plate little man.

We also learned that he is 38 inches tall and about 35 lbs (probably with all his layers on, so that could be a few pounds heavy).  His older brother is 40 1/2 inches tall and 37 lbs...just to give you some reference.  I have a feeling I will get asked if Max and Xander are twins!

In terms of paperwork we are moving right along.  We are checking off boxes just as we hoped we would, and aiming for late January travel.  It's possible the Chinese New Year could get in the way of our travel plans, but we won't know for sure until we get closer.

Running out of titles...

So it's quite boring, the steps we take to get to the awesome end reward, but check another box, we have been approved yet again!

This time US immigration approved Max (still known as Zhang Jian Qiang) to enter the US!  Yay!  So now we go through some more small steps to get him approved for an immigrant visa.  Believe it or not, we were about two days quicker in this step than expected, we'll take it.

Maybe on Monday we'll have yet another box to check.  These next things come quickly, no more than two weeks between each step, so hold on, we've got a to-do list ready to check off!

Good news!

Big news!  WE HAVE OUR LOA (letter of approval) or LSC (letter seeking confirmation)!  This means we have officially been matched with Max (our dossier with his file) and they just want us to sign this letter and return it saying YES, we accept him!  So now all we need is permission to bring him into the country and approval to come get him!!

It is possible that we could be in China in 9-10 weeks!  PEOPLE, 9-10 WEEKS!!!  You know how fast time goes by during the holidays, well, now we have one more huge event in our family about to take place, so I would imagine that my November and December will fly by!!

One huge step closer to getting the right little boy into this bed!

An update!

Surprise!  We got new photos!  I am so excited to show you some current pictures of Max Jacob!

He is SO stinkin' handsome!  The update summary we got was from Sept 22 and he is doing SO good, they said he is "basically" on target which is a BIG deal!!  We know God has been holding our Max in His hands from the beginning, now we can hardly wait until we can hold him!

Delivered and logged in!

Our agency gave me the tracking number for our dossier, so I watched it as it went to China.  It traveled from Washington (where our agency is) to Oakland, Ca to Alaska to Beijing.  On Monday it was delivered to the CCCWA, the place where all adoptions from China are processed!

In adoption we have a lot of acronyms.  If you've followed my other adoption blogs you might be familiar with some of them, but I'll explain as we go.  You'll see them in the sidebar under timeline, each one is a step in the right direction!

On 9/18 our dossier was logged in!  I guess it doesn't mean a whole lot, except that it has been accepted by the CCCWA and it is officially registered in their system.  All good news!

So, now we wait again, and this is "the big one," we are waiting for our LOA, which is Letter of Acceptance.  The wait times for this step are all over the board.  Just this week, in FB group I am a part of, someone received theirs in just 25 days...crazy fast!  However, to put a little bite of reality into it, we waited 120 days for Lyla's.  UGH!  It was not normal, and in fact, if you remember, our dossier actually got "misplaced" somewhere between being translated and being approved.

Our agency tells us to expect 90 days, so I'm going to try to keep that timeline in mind.  However, the optimist and hopeful-ist (not a word, but describes my mindset) that I am, MANY people in the past two weeks have received theirs in about 30-35 days.  That, my friends, would be SO incredible!!

We have also asked for an update, but so far it has not been granted.  If our agency cannot get one then I will try something else.  We are also planning on sending a care package soon, hopefully he'll get a glimpse of his new family while we wait!

Done chasing!

I'm done!!! In a good way, I'm done!  I collected the final document for our dossier last week and had everything certified by the proper Secretary's of State.  I copied, collected, wrote checks and triple checked it all and it is on it's way to a courier in Washington DC who will handle the rest! Ahhhhhhh!  My blood, sweat and tears from the last 5 months is now in the hands of someone else.

From here our dossier will get certified by the Department of State and then it will get the coveted Chinese Embassy seals!  After this it will be scanned and a digital copy will be sent to China, followed by the hard copy.  

Today is my Dad's birthday, so it's kinda of a cool date to celebrate being one big step closer to our Max!  

Now we wait.... 

(That's kinda what we've been doing, but my work is done, so the tick...tick...tick of the clock will seem a bit slower) 

Learning to trust

We're slowly making our way through the "paperchasing" phase of this adoption. No, it's not any easier the 3rd time (except I know the lingo), and yes, we have to do everything the same as if it were our first time.  It takes forever, especially when you have a face to go with the child you are trying to get to!

I'm a member of some groups of waiting adoptive families and this song came across one of the news feeds today. It's an older song, but I had never heard it.  There is a line in the song that says " When we cannot see you moving, and it seems the dark has won, may you find us still believing, you want this more than us..."  As we trudge through this process of adopting...again, it feels like every obstacle, every hurdle, every doubt that creeps in, is a reason to quit.  Some days I feel like bargaining with God, "We've adopted twice... We donate money to care for orphans... We support adopting families..."  There are days when, as the song says, "...it seems the dark has won..." and I question our path.  It doesn't take me long to remember that it's not about me, it's not about my doubt or fear, it's not even about a child needing a family.  It's about a God who doesn't NEED me, but WANTS me to fully trust. Period.

http://youtu.be/Omj8BMxl9a0

After adopting Lyla I found myself quite proud of our "faith." I mean, we adopted an "older" child, and disrupted the birth order in our family...because God asked us to (pats self on back).  That was a big leap, we really put ourselves out there. (Hear sarcasm) Um, wrong again, dumb lady! THIS is a bigger leap for reasons very different than our previous adoption.  I'm scared, sometimes to the point of tears.  And I have a feeling God hasn't asked all He will ask of me, yet. 

A book that challenged Kevin and I, to our core, was Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  In it he says, “He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.”  I'm not going to claim that this is how we live, but it is something we strive for.  We all have been in situations that if God didn't show up we'd be in trouble, but to live unafraid of those situations, and in fact choose to put yourself there is completely different.  

So, as we wait for God to bring Max home, I can only hope that He will use this time to teach me to be unafraid and to trust completely, because I already know we're in trouble if He doesn't come through!

Some progress...sort of

Adoption is the definition of the hurry-up-and-wait mentality.  I busted my butt to gather our home study paperwork, our social workers were super speedy in writing, reviewing and completing the written portion only to have to wait 3 weeks for our clearances from California...grrr!  We now have the proper clearance and now we can finally move forward.

So, hopefully in the next week we will finally get to submit for our first piece of immigration paperwork!  We cannot even begin to estimate a timeline until our dossier gets to China, and it will be a couple months until we are done with it.  As soon as I can halfway guess when he'll get home I'll let you know!

The most exciting news of all is that he finally has a name!!!! This was a HARD process this time.  We tried many names, ruled out many names, re-tried names and finally found, what we think is the perfect one!  Look closely...

We will call him Max Jacob McNeely!!!

Happy Birthday, little dude!

Well, dude, it's your birthday!  Today you are a big 3 year old, wow!!! We wish we could be with you, but since we just "met" you it was impossible.  We did do our best to give you a gift, but actually it was more like a gift to ourselves.  Today was the day that the first paperwork, in our journey to bring you home, was sent to China!

Happy Birthday, today we asked China if WE could be your forever family!!!

When you turn 4 I hope we get to have a big ol' birthday bash, full of family, friends and whatever sweet treat you want!  That's my goal!  To be able to celebrate your 4th birthday with you!

An update

Our agency asked for an update because this little guy's medical file was so old.  There was no info after 13 months old, and in just a few days he turns 3 years old.  There's a lot of developing (or lack of) that can happen at that age during that amount of time.

It was one of the things that kind of held us up, we just weren't sure.  Was God asking us to take a HUGE leap and know that no matter what He would guide this little guy and us in the right direction? Or was God answering our prayers that our decision needed to be clear and obvious before we would move forward?  Well, we took a leap...and God showed up (and off, as a friend of mine pointed out :) )

We received an email from our agency with this video!  It's better than a medical update, it's him in action.  The things in his medical file that we were worried about were completely dismissed by this video.  Once again God proves Himself to me, even though He doesn't need to and shouldn't.

ENJOY!!!!

We said yes!

As of today we officially said yes.  Now this is just a baby-step in terms of the process, but it is HUGE step in our lives.  It's like the day you find out you're pregnant, from this moment on I think of our family as having 4 kids in it!  4!!!!  WOW!!!

Now the naming challenge begins.  Why is naming a child so hard?  We talk about names periodically, kind of a just-in-case conversation, like maybe it will make it easier when we actually do have to name a child.  Nope.  Doesn't work.  We pull out all the names we've talked about, but looking at the face in front of us not very many of them work.  It's the blessing and curse of knowing exactly what your child looks like before you name them, sometimes it just doesn't fit.  Believe me, I LOVE this problem, because it means we're adding another child!

What a journey!

Well, I'm sure you're still picking your jaw off the floor, so I'll take my time.

...Ready?... ok...

Yep, we're headed to China for a 3rd time to add child #4!!! Another little brother!

It all started...well, that's not a good way to start, it would take me too long to explain that.  How about the first time we saw him, March 3, 2013, the day we saw a picture of our newest treasure.  It's time to confess something, which shouldn't surprise any of you, I always look at pictures of the waiting kids in China.  Always.  So, this little guy was one of the hundreds of kids that I have seen over the past few years.

There wasn't anything particular about him, he's a looker, but so many (most) of them are!  We'd talked about the age of a child we might consider, and he fit into that, so that is why I read his short bio.  Honestly, it was full of a bunch of big medical words and although I wasn't scared by them, I definitely had no idea what they meant.  I showed Kevin his picture and, like he usually does, he looked then looked away.  People, I do not know how this man doesn't roll his eyes at me 100 times a day. :)

Kevin and I had a few conversations about what the next step for our family was, life has a way of throwing things at you when you least expect it, so these conversations had been happening regularly.   During this particular conversation, he said, "We could learn more about that little guy you showed me."  He knows better than to say something like that, because it takes me .2 seconds to spring into action!!!

On March 4th we officially got his file, but this was just the beginning of our decision making process.  After a few phones calls we got some specialists to look at his medical records.  Then we had to get started on some initial paperwork, which took much longer than we expected to get in order (and this was only to be considered to adopt him).  The info in his file is old, real old, which made us wonder about how he is doing now.  The adoption agency asked for updates, and got no response.  We felt like we could not make a smart decision without more info, so we prayed for an update while we were working on the paperwork.

When we started looking seriously ate this little guy Kevin said to me, "We just keeping going until the door closes, that's what's happened before, what do we have to worry about?"  Yet again, my husband of few words, says exactly the right thing!  So we keep going.

Tonight, after talking one last time about a final decision to move forward, neither of us would say a definitive yes.  But as we sat here planning our trip to China :) I said, "We're doing this, aren't we?" And the smile I got from Kevin is all I needed to know, WE'RE DOING THIS!!!

Here he is at 1 year old!  I know, ridiculously adorable! 

Hopefully soon we'll have a more current photo.