Finishing up (part 1)

Ok, maybe I can get a few things out here so we can wrap up the less-than-stellar blog.  My excuse, jet lag has officially kicked my butt!  All of us were a bit off, but there were days I couldn't even will myself awake, my body just did not get back on track very easily.

So let me finish up our stay in China, last we talked we had made it to Guangzhou, which afforded us a more "westernized" stay, and we had just a few more steps before we could actually come home.  We enjoyed Guangzhou, the weather was warmer, long walks around the city were enlightening, and snacks, food and shopping were a bit easier.  The kids enjoyed a play area (really for toddlers, but they didn't care) in the hotel and our rooms were suites, so it had a living area and a bedroom...so nice to have all the extra space!  

While on this journey I found a Facebook group of families who would be traveling at the same time we were.  It was nice to compare stories, get advice and look forward to meeting people who were going through the same thing with you.  One of the members arranged a group dinner in Guangzhou where about 30 families got together and ate a meal, it was a great time!  Most people travel with other families, meaning several families with the same agency will be in China at the same time and so you become fast friends.  We did not have that this time, so meeting these families in this way was great.  

6 Banyan Temple (named for the 6 banyan trees that are on the premises...
but now there are only 5)

After we had Max for about a week we started seeing a side of him that made us realize that we were going to be ok!  He is a strong-willed, busy little boy, so that along with the trauma of adoption and being in a hotel room much of the time led to some interesting confrontations.  However, it only took a week before we could see through the adjustment period and know that on the other side was a sweet, fun, entertaining, energetic little guy who was going to add so much to our family.

This time our trip was about efficiency.  We really didn't leave much room for touring and sight-seeing.  We literally used every available minute for paperwork and processing, which was good and bad.  We did this for cost effectiveness and so the length of the trip didn't extend past two weeks, but we also didn't have time for fun outings, but we tried to make the best of it.

Just a little early morning Kindle time

On Feb 18 we submitted our last bit of paperwork to complete the adoption and boy was it sweet relief.  I found the paperwork portion for Max's adoption the hardest yet.  I had done it before, so it wasn't as confusing, but I think since I already had a house full at home, finding the time and energy made it rough.  I was so glad to walk out of the American Consulate in Guangzhou knowing that the past year of gathering, notarizing, authenticating, signing, fingerprinting paperwork was over!

Spending time shopping on Shamian Island, which used to be the adoption Mecca. They have been renovating the main hotel on the island and gearing it towards business travelers, so many shops have closed due to less foot traffic. 

Our trip home started Feb 19 with a train ride to Hong Kong, it wasn't anything super exciting, but it was fun for the kids to ride a train.  We then just stayed overnight at the airport hotel so we could catch our flight home the next day.  12:30pm Feb 20 (China time) we boarded the plane headed for San Francisco!!

Max enjoying the view from inside the train (he was excited that there was a train next to us!)

The flight was ok, we were spread out around the plane, but it allowed us to have more room since the seats were an upgrade from economy.  The big kids did great, they kept themselves occupied and did well, which I knew would happen because they are THE BEST travelers...but I think I've told you that before.  We tried to plan out a good sleeping time for them, but not all of them were keen on the idea.  Max did ok, he had a few moments of screaming (where the guy sitting next to us literally plugged his ears), but considering it was an 11 hour flight I was pleased.  It was work, Kevin and I did a split shift and each of us ended up sitting next to him for about half the time, but we made it.

We landed in San Francisco and as we walked through customs, and handed over his immigrant visa paperwork, Max became the newest American citizen! Customs was not working very efficiently as we were coming through, so the little boy screaming that he needed to go potty really put a damper on the celebration, but he's an American none the less!  Then we had to say good-bye to Grandma Connie.  What a pure joy it was to have her with us! Not every girl can say that they spent two weeks in a foreign country with their mother-in-law and actually enjoyed it, but I can!!  She was so helpful and my kids just LOVE any time they get to spend with family.  We weren't sure if it would happen, but because Auntie Julie was picking up Grandma Connie in San Francisco we were able to give her a hug too and she met Max!!!  Then it was off to our last flight to Dallas...ahhh, home was in our sight!  All the kids slept the entire time, which probably through our sleeping pattern into a tailspin, but it sure made for an easy last leg!

Next up...

Max's welcome home celebration!!

Reflecting

Each of our trips to China is so very different.  All have the same paperwork and the same end result, a new child, but the experience is never the same.

This time I realized that I haven't even been able to take pictures, a few here or there but most of the time one of my hands has a child attached to it, and getting all those children together for one photo...in a busy city...can be tough.

We brought all of our kids along so they could experience China and see what this part of adoption looks like.  We want them to see other families doing what we are doing, we want them to see that adding a family member can be ugly and hard, but we're family and families are forever, so there is nothing too hard.  What I hope is that they also get to take in some of the sights and realize that different cultures and people are an amazing creation, and truly one of God's gifts.  Not only do we look different, but the way we live our lives is different. I do not want my kids to be scared of different.

It never fails, each time we are here, somewhere we hear the song "It's A Small World." I don't know if it's the equivalent of the Chinese showing a peace sign in a photo or what, be we always hear it.  Each time I just want to roll my eyes, because there are so many moments while we are here that it feels like such a BIG, BIG, world.  Once my sarcasm leaves I realize that, although not a spiritual song, it sure can have spiritual significance.  All of these people in this small world, have been created by the same BIG God and placed here for such a short time.  To say that doesn't really give it credit, but in moments when life seems too big to handle it can give perspective.

So, as we get closer to the end of our 3rd adoption journey to China I can't help but wonder what will be my take away this time?  More than ever before, it feels like all I want to do is get back home and sink back into my normal, Rockwall life.  But, Kevin and I have always known that is not what God wants for us, so I can hardly imagine He brought our entire family to China so we could run home and get as comfortable as possible.

Even though we may not have many pictures to look at, and we may have spent too much time seeking out American food, we pray that this trip teaches us much more.  We pray it's more than fun souvenirs and silly games we play to pass the time. We pray it's even more than new friendships and a new family member, because as significant as those things are there is so much more.  We are such a small part of God's GREAT BIG plan.

Terra Cotta statues

Once we learned that Max was from the Shaanxi province (his initial paperwork was wrong) I was thrilled that we were going to be able to see the Terra Cotta statues!!!  If you don't know anything about them, I will give you a brief lesson, but you may want to look it up.  So amazing!

So, the Terra Cotta statues were actual built 2200 years ago while Emperor Xin (I think) was ruling.  Back in ancient times they buried things with them because they believed in the after life they would still need worldly things.  Well, this Emperor apparently felt like he needed his army.  So, 728,000 people worked for 38 years to build 8000 statues out of terra cotta to protect him in the afterlife.  Those numbers just amaze me.  What's even cooler is that these weren't found until 1974!  A farmer was digging a well (during one of the driest years) and he came upon some terra cotta pieces, apparently they were pretty significanty because it prompted his journalist nephew to do a report on them, and that is when they started digging and found the rest!

These statues were found crushed under the weight of the soil and since 1974 archeologists have been putting them together piece by piece, so far 2000 have been put back together and they plan to work until ALL have been restored.  When they are initially unearthed they are very colorful, but the material that the color is made of oxidizes in a matter of days.  So they have mounds of pieces still buried, they do not want to unearth them until they are ready to put them together, and for a few days people can admire the colorful pieces.  They are trying to create a preservative to put on the statues to keep their color.

I could go on, but I'll just tell you two more things.  There has been only ONE statue that was found intact, it is called the kneeling archer and it is a revered piece.  And, each statue represents a real person, which means all have different faces, hair and attire, there are non that are identical!!

OK, so there is your history lesson for the day!  Two things worth mentioning happened the day we saw the statues, both proud moments for this mama.  We were eating lunch after visiting the statues and the waitresses were fascinated by our family.  Apparently, they had never seen white people with Chinese children and wanted to know why we wanted Chinese kids.  Well, our real reason (faith based and centered in our belief in Christ) cannot be freely expressed so our guide explained that we loved giving children a home and family that would not normally have one.  Well, then they started talking to Max, I was a bit concerned about what they were saying, it's a bit unnerving not to understand what adults are saying to your young child.  However, after we left we asked our guide.  Although we might not know all that was said she shared that they asked him if he wanted to go back to Hanzhong (where he is from) and repeated he told them, "No, I want to go to America." :)  Roughly 48 hours after meeting us he wants to go home with us.  Only God.

The other very proud moment came from our guide.  She was just married last November and she said to me, "After spending time with your kids I want to have children as soon as possible."  I'm so proud of my kids and I'm so grateful that they were all given to me!!!

....and for some reason I am unable to add pictures, so I will have to leave them for facebook.

We made it, we have him, and we're tired!

OK, we'll give this blogging thing a try, hopefully I can update you on what's been going on with us and give you a glimpse of what we are learning about Max.

So, to start back at the beginning, the three kids that traveled from Texas to China are just amazing!!! I say this every time we travel, but seriously, they are the best travelers.  They kept themselves occupied (thank you United Airlines for having personal TVs on each seat filled with great choices for children's mocies and TV shows!!!) and they just did a wonderful job.  I really have been blessed with great travelers, which I realize was not an accident since God knew our life would be full of traveling.

We stayed one night in Beijing before heading to Xi'an, Shaanxi.  We were in Xi'an all of 2 hours before we were taken to the Civil Affairs office to meet Max.  Of course he was nervous, scared and cried, but it was what I expected.  Our other kids were anxious to see and play with him, but were so understanding that he needed his space.  Sweet Macey was so concerned, and just wanted to make it all better, Lyla understood the most.  She would explain to Grandma Connie later that she knew Max was happy, even if he was crying, but that he was goinbg ot miss people.  She would know. :)

 

We made a break through, or at least stopped the tears for a moment when he found some stickers in his back pack.  We got some smiles for a bit which, of course, returned when he had to say good-bye to the lady who brought him.

 

The next day was adoption day!  The official day when he becomes ours forever, and his name legally changes.  We have had such different experiences with adoption day, Xander's was chaotic at best, Lyla's was ok, nothing spectacular, and now Max's was the least efficient use of time we have seen.  There were only two families in the office, we had to sign several papers with finger printing and then pay our fees.  It took HOURS!  NO joke, we just sat around and did almost nothing most of the time.   Max kept putting on his coat and bakc pack saying he wanted to go.  Me too, pal!!!

 

 

After t he adoption paperwork was done we got some American food, Burger King.  Our little boy had never had a hamburger (we had our guide ask him) and he just devoured it!  AWESOME!!! He has been eating A LOT, which can be common with kids who have never had so many choices, I'm just not sure how all that food fits into his tiny self!

 

 

So, a little about our Max Jacob.  He is BUSY, shew!!!  I have never had a busy child, so this is a new and exhausting experience for me.  I guess I could classify Lyla as busy, but busy at 6 is MUCH different than busy at 3.  He is curious and energetic, I'm suddenly feeling like I should have baby-proofed our house.  He is independant, he likes to go about his business and get into everything, and he is demanding, if he wants something he wants it now and will repeatedly ask (aka whine) until it is given to him.  Unfortunately, we don't always know what he wants, so...you get the picture.

 



 

He talks non-stop.  When we got Lyla she woul say some things, but she would try very hard to get us to understand by showing or pointing.  We don't think Max gets it that we do not understand him, so he just repeats himself and whines and expects us to know what he is talking about.  He will repeat everything we say, so hopefully that will transfer soon into learning how to use some simple English.

 

 

Max is very interested in mobile devices, but actually playing with them is a different story. Lots of poking and pounding...yikes!  We let him "use" the Leap Pad on his own, but Kindles and the iPad, not so much.

 

He hasn't been too compliant when we ask to take his picture, so this is the best we have so far.  He did better yesterday so we think we'll have some great ones soon!

 

(yes, that is Max, not Xander)

Some random info:

 

We think he is right handed, although he uses his left hand with ease.  Some say you don't really know until around age 4-5, so maybe he just isn't sure yet.  Since our two other Chinese kids are left handed we think it would be VERY interesting if he was too.

 

He is a perfect size 3T, which is awesome because that is what his drawers at home are full of.  The measurements we got on him before we got here were very accurate.  He is just a freckle shorter than Xander...we're guessing he will surpass him eventually.

 

My next post will be about our visit to see the Terra Cotta statues!  OH WOW!  I loved it, the kids seemed to also!



THEY SAID C'MON!

On January 3rd, while watching Frozen in 3D with the fam (GREAT movie, btw) I noticed a missed call from our adoption agency and knew right away what that meant!! I waited until we got outside and called them back right away!  WOOHOO!!!  Travel Approval!

We had the weekend to decide if we wanted to push for a super speedy travel or wait until the Chinese New Year holiday was over and go in February.  After consulting a few travel agents for prices and thinking about what was best for us, we decided on waiting until February.  The next step was waiting for China to confirm our appointment date that would issue Max's visa, and then we knew when we could go!

So, early this morning we were told our appointment is on 2/18 (my oldest niece's birthday!) so we can bring Max home on February 20!

Here is a rough schedule:

2/7-2/8 Travel to Beijing

2/9 Go to Shaanxi (Max'x province) GET MAX!!!

2/10-2/14 Adoption day, get passport, sight-see

2/14 Go to Guangzhou

2/15-2/17 Dr visit, shopping, sight-see

2/18 Consulate appointment

2/19 Receive Max's visa, travel to Hong Kong

2/20 FLY HOME!!!!

It's busy, but some of the days activities are short so you have the rest of the day to relax or go look around.  We will have school assignments to complete, we will have lots of busy bodies that need things to do, so this will most certainly be an exciting trip.

Here we go!!!

Only one more step!

I realize this blog leaves much to be desired.  I promise, our days are filled with conversations about Max and about what he might like and the things we get to do once he arrives, but quite frankly, finding the time to sit down and tell you about it is, well, difficult.  I will also say that the process to getting these precious Chinese kids is taxing.  It doesn't get easier to wait, it doesn't make a difference that we have done it before, it's long, it's heart wrenching and I can't wait for it to be over.  I think the only difference is that this time I don't talk about it as much.  Maybe I'm tired of bringing all the feelings of "missing someone" to the surface, maybe it's a way for me to guard my heart.

This is our 3rd Christmas where we know that someone is missing from our family.  I know many people who hang a stocking for the child that they are waiting for, and buy lots of gifts for him or her, but for some reason I have never done that.  A few gifts were purchased for Max this Christmas, but from his adoring grandparents and aunties.  I can't explain it, but he'll have a stocking and presents under the tree next year...and he can open them!

All that to say we only have ONE STEP LEFT!!!  We're almost to the point where the stress and chaos of traveling with a family of 5 + a grandma to China for 2 weeks becomes a reality.  I'm not ready for that, but I am definitely ready to get on that plane to see what this amazing trip is going to do for our family.  Anytime in the next 4 weeks we could get a letter from China that says "COME ON!"  It is SO nice to finally be here!

I just keep thinking about the fact that we are bringing our ENTIRE family to China.  Something else that doesn't escape me is that this will be our 5 year old's 2nd trip...ha!  I don't think Xander really understands the significance, other than he knows that Lyla is very excited to return, so he feels like he should be too.  Lyla can hardly contain her excitement when she talks about it.  Living in China is so fresh, she'll only have been with us for 2 years when we travel, I know the emotions will be high for our sweet, spunky, life-filled girl.  I really feel like this whole experience has been great for her, to see what adoption is like from this side, the anticipation, the joy the family feels and I think she is even ready for the sadness and confusion that Max will probably experience.  I know she will be a big help!  I can hardly wait to see what Xander feels like when he has a brother, the one he has been praying for for years...literally.

The next time you hear from me I'll be giving you our travel dates, and we'll finally know the day that our arms will hold Max for the first time!

Merry Christmas!!

Care package!

I mentioned a care package in my last post.  We used a lady in China who will contact the orphanage for you, get some basic info and hopefully photos, and then deliver (ship) a care package to your waiting child.  We used her years ago to send Xander a package, she seems to have a great reputation with the orphanages.

Here is what we sent:

The idea is that hopefully he will receive this package (the candies are for the nannies), and they will read him the letter I wrote that tells him we are coming to meet him and make him part of our family.  We hope that they will also show him the photo album and let him see us before we get there.  WE know Xander and Lyla both received the packages we sent to them, and both of them were shown the pictures of us before we got there, so we counting on the same.

Lyla, being older, was able to tell us that she doesn't really remember a letter being read, but she did se the photo album, although maybe just once.  We also sent Lyla a stuffed animal that she brought with her to meet us, but it was very clean, and she clearly had no attachment to it. :)

I love this care package to Max for so many reasons, but mostly for the similarity to Xander's.  Xander got that same bear with a blue shirt (whom we still have and it is now named BamBam), the photo album is the same kind and the silks are the same just a different color.  Xander's photo album came with him and it was filthy, we have no idea who "used" it, which actually makes me sad to think that some of the other kids looked at us, and then we didn't bring them home... :(  Xander's silks were red, and they definitely don't fit him anymore, but it is cool that they are the same.  Now, we have no idea if we will receive any of these items when we get Max, it's the risk you take.

In paperwork news...

On Nov 27 we got our NVC cable.  Um, still, do not really know what exactly this is, just another box to check off.  PEOPLE!  We only have 3 more boxes to check!!!  Our Art 5 (another unknown Hague Convention thing) will be dropped off next Tuesday, Dec 10 and picked up Dec 24.  On Christmas Eve (is it ok to be relieved that China does have a Christmas holiday??) we will officially be waiting for our Travel Approval!!  

So, blah, blah, blah... There is still a SMALL chance that we could travel in January, but if we don't make it before the CNY holiday it will be the 1st week of February.  in about 6-8 weeks we WILL be in China!!!! WAHOOOO!!